So while writing my final draft I referred to my notes from
the optional class quite a lot. I feel like it’s a good thing I followed the
suggestions from the teacher but on the other hand I can’t help but feel that I
could have done better. I’m so used to writing a certain way that changing it
may actually make me get a worse score. By that I’m referring to the
conclusion, I incorporated the whole “so what?” thought process and instead of
restating my thesis I provided a sort of dialog that was intended to defend and
further prove the thesis. Other than that I fixed my quotation, the fact that I’ve
been implementing quotes for so long and sometimes have been doing it wring
bother me but I’m glad I’ve acquired this skill. So in continuing to polish my paper I added
another “topic” to my paper. While I had focused on privacy and its effect on
the self-writing capabilities as a whole I added “Identity” to the mix as I felt
it has a lot of overlay into my arguments. I hope it doesn’t feel tacked on but
I used the topic to solidify my argument in the conclusion, as to whether this
was a good decision I have yet to receive a second opinion.
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